Meet Gayle. Fabulous and funny. Despite sustaining a brain injury from
being hit by a car while cycling, Gayle is a proud ferret mama and
Hallowe'en costume designer extraordinaire, rode her bike across North
America from coast-to-coast, became a licensed optician two years ago,
and is travelling to the Dominican Republic at the end of January to
provide eye clinics for local villages. This Single Lady does it right!
So how does she do it? See her hilarious and poignant answers here:
Q: What are 5 things that you’ve done or are doing to embrace single life?
A:
- I do things on my own. Travel, movies, eating out, concerts, events. I don't need a companion to enjoy an outing or a destination and I don't feel awkward doing these things by myself. Actually, some of these things can be easier - going to a busy movie last minute: easy to find a good single seat and why go with someone when you shouldn't be talking through the movie anyway? Same with concerts - VERY easy to get great last minute seats for 1 person.
- I eat well, cook fresh food, and I don't own a microwave. I learned how to cook for 1 person, in 1 day enough food for a week of options... Brilliant.
- I buy myself nice things... Don't wait for someone else to gift them to you.
- I value my own time. Don't waste it. Do things, be useful, explore and don't be willing to sacrifice your plans every time for someone else.
- I recommend you GIVE. Time, talents, money. You have the most control over these things that you have been given... So be a good steward of the gifts and ensure that you are aware that to those who much is given, much is expected.
Q: Do you ever wish things were different? I mean, do you ever wish you’d married?
A: This is a more obscure/abstract question than people think. My response is usually "I don't know, who did you have in mind?" I haven't met someone yet that I can honestly say that our lives together would be better than they were separate, so no, I didn't get married. Would my life be better if I had been born in New York City? I don't know the answer to that either. I don't know what my life would be like if I had got married. Married people really don't know what their lives would be like if they had remained single... You get my point.
Here's my answer. I LOVE my life. It's really good. I have been blessed in many ways beyond probably what I deserve. I don't think my relationship status is the major factor the good things in my life. And it is my goal to ensure that my relationship status is never the major influence in my life.
Q: What do you do to help yourself through lonely moments?
A: There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Also, I can assure you that being married doesn't guarantee that you never feel lonely. I have a GREAT community of friends and family. I have always had very people-oriented jobs so when I feel the need to connect with other humans, I am not at a loss to find those connections. When I want to retreat and have my own space, I can do that fairly easily too. I am very aware of what I need socially and have developed my life to ensure it is there when I need it.
Q: In your opinion, what is the best thing about being single?
A: It's convenient. And it's surprising how much easier a lot of things/decisions are in life. I don't have to consult with anyone else what colour the rooms are painted, what car to buy, where to vacation, how much money to spend/save, who is going to do the dishes, when is dinner... It's the million little things that stress people out in a day.
Q: What do you think is different about couples that look out for single people and couples that only hang around with other couples? If you could educate those latter couples, what advice would you give them to have better relationships with single people?
A: I'm confused by this question... Why is it the responsibility of couples to look out for single people? Who cares if they only want to hang out with other couples? People hang around with who they are connected with - whether personality or common experience. I can see that it would be nice for newly married couples to share some of the common joys and struggles that as a single person, I really have no insight into. I don't know what it is like to live with the same person for over 25yrs... But they also don't know what it would be like to date different people for that time!
I don't really base my friendships on relationship status, but I do have a firm rule that I am NEVER friends with a married man if I am not friends with his wife. It is a REALLY good boundary and I will never break it.
Gayle's parting wisdom: Bottom line... Make life decisions on several other factors and not on your relationship status!
Clearly Gayle has got the Single Lady life down!!
If you'd like to provide a donation to Gayle's Dominican Republic team, please send it to:
Living Hope CRC
1281 Exmouth Street
Sarnia, ON N7S 1W9
Atten: Team 1 DR - Gayle Harrison
